#throwback obviously. Lol
This was when i was week36. Just a week before, i had a scare. I suddenly had quite a lot of dark red discharge. I googled and it looked like mucus plug. We rushed to hospital right away! Doc suggested that we took a steriod jab to strengthen Layla's lungs in case she decided to come early. Being a paranoid mom-to-be, i initially refused to take the jab. But doctor suggested that it would do no harm to baby and it was a common thing. I took it. And i cried.
That was the first time i experienced mom's guilt. Until today, we still don't know what's the actual cause of the bleeding. It could literally be anything. But i took it all upon myself. Was it because i exercised too much? Was it bcos of my diet? Was it bcos i have a weak uterus? Could it be i have bad genes? Was it bcos i drank that few sips of coke every now and then? It could be anything, but i made them all about me.
Since then i prayed so hard every day and night that she would stay in there until at least Week37. I was given the order to bedrest. And so i did.
Thankfully, she did corporate with us like she always does. She came out at Week38, strong and healthy!
I've learnt, there's so much to feel bad about in parenthood. But in retrospect, could i have done with a little less self-blame, less worry, less guilt? Definitely, and things would still be ok!
For all the coments on how 'it'll only get better', you can't be more right! I can't believe i was crying over spilt milk just 9 weeks ago. It felt so long ago, and yet so much had changed!
Motherhood, what a journey! I'm loving every bit of it!
#ssfoodforthoughts #sspositivepsychology #SSpregnancyjourney #pregnancy #pregnantbelly #babyWooLaLa #week37 #sheilaloveherlife #motherhood #firsttimemom #mothertobe